How to Keep a Conversation Going

June 22, 2010

How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Woman

Filed under: How to Flirt — Tags: , — Tony @ 7:42 pm

Man and Woman having a conversation

10 Tips to Keep a Conversation Going with a Woman

I’ve spent a lot of times coaching men how to talk to women and get more dates.  One of the biggest frustrations that comes up over and over again is how to keep a conversation going.

When I ask my clients to fill out a questionnaire about what are the most daunting obstacles and struggles they face meeting women… I continue to get replies like:

  • “I never know what to say next”
  • “I don’t know how to keep a conversation going”
  • “I’m not sure what conversation topics are best”
  • “I fear awkward silences”
  • “Not knowing how to make small talk”

As you can see… you are not alone with your inability to keep a conversation going… and more importantly, keep the conversation interesting, playful, and attractive.

Because quite frankly, anybody can keep a conversation going by talking about boring topics like the weather, news, or drawn out descriptions of your job… but they key is, to learn how to keep a conversation going talking about fun and interesting topics.

The fact is, some conversation topics are more interesting and more likely to lead to attraction then others.

Examples of Good Conversation Topics

Examples of good conversation topics include:

  • Early childhood experiences
  • Observations about the woman
  • Observations about your surroundings
  • Travel
  • Things your passionate about
  • Her ambitions and goals in life

Those are just several of the better topics to discuss while talking to women.  Knowing the right conversation topics to discuss is the first in learning how to keep a conversation going.

The next thing you need to know is how to move a conversation forward naturally, without creating any sense of awkwardness, and without making the entire interaction seemed forced or try hard.

So before we get into some tactics for how to keep a conversation going, lets first understand a couple of things.

Big Conversation Mistakes

Woman laughing and enjoying ConversationIf you’re struggling with your conversation skills it might be first helpful to know some of the big conversation mistakes you might be making.

Mistake #1: Not Following the 90/10 rule of conversation

Most men don’t realize it, but when you start a conversation with a woman you are responsible for carrying 90% of the conversation for the first few minutes.

This is because the woman isn’t warmed up yet, and if you are prepared to do the talking… chances are that you will run into some seriously awkward silences.

So I repeat, for the first five minutes or so, it is 90% your job to keep the conversation going.  Unfortunately most do the complete opposite.  They start a conversation with a girl and then expect her to immediately jump in and contribute to the conversation.

Mistake #2: Asking too many questions

It would seem that if you want to keep a conversation going that a natural tactic would be to ask a lot of questions.  But asking a lot of questions actually has the opposite effect.

When you begin asking a woman a lot of questions (especially boring fact based questions) you will usually only get one or two word sentence answers.  This never gives a woman a chance to warm up to you as she in continually focused on just answering the next boring question you are spouting at her.

And once the questions run out… you are left with nothing to talk about.

Mistake #3: Not recognizing the reaction you are getting from the woman you are talking to

Since most guys are stuck inside their own head for a good portion of their conversations with women, they are not paying attention to the signs and signals a woman is sending them.  They are too focused on how to keep a conversation going that they fail to recognize if she is currently enjoying the topic being discussed.

Often men will completely skip over conversation topics that the woman is enjoying and would gladly continue talking passionately about.  Instead, in a flurry to keep the conversation going the man will jump to his next conversation thread.

So there are three of the biggest mistakes men make with their conversations with women.  So now lets talk about what your ultimate goal is when keeping a conversation going with a woman.  And that goal is to attract her.  You can talk all night long, but if you’re not creating attraction then it doesn’t really matter how long you keep the conversation going.

Read this article:  10 tips to keep a conversation going with a woman.

Read this report to learn: How to Make Small Talk Sexy.

Hope this article gave you some good tips on how to keep a conversation going.


5 Comments

  1. Really great tips on keeping a conversation going with women! thanks for sharing, i would really appreciate some tips on getting out of the friend zone with a woman. Thanks

    Comment by Rick — July 30, 2010 @ 4:46 am

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